Kerala

Did you all think the blog was finished there with the 'Cup of Tea' invitation - not quite chaps, there's still more adventures to report and .... wait for it... scones to be won to go with your tea!!

After 12 days in the blazing heat of Rajasthan (did we mention it was hot there?) - this is a welcome sight! Our first view of the Kerala coastline from the plane.






In India they call Kerala 'God's Own Country' - we can't argue with that! This place has it all as you'll see over the next few blogs. But first stop was getting to the coast and in the Arabian Sea!




This is the beach at Varkala. It's a beautiful sight, dramatic cliffs, golden sand and git big waves - big enough to do some of my (Keith) world renowned 'body surfing' which was going well until one wave really got hold of me and 'rolled' me in the sand. It was like being in a tumble dryer full of gravel! (as anyone in my family will know - my sister Paula is also a very accomplished body surfer!! - it runs in the family)

A little story about segregation! On the beach at Varkala there's a small 'police' presence and their job is to keep the Indian people to the left of the beach and the tourists to the right! We were slightly confused at first but we found out why. Indian men aren't used to seeing women's bodies! Even when Indian women swim it's usually with the full kit on - so when Indian men see Westerners wearing nothing but a piece of string they often just stand and gawp!! It's actually called 'gawping' and the police are known as 'gawp control', their job is to keep a comfortable distance between the 'gawpers' and the 'flesh flashers'. One Indian teenager swam underwater and appeared in the 'Western' section, he was quickly spotted by gawp control and whistled at and ordered back, you could almost read his mind when he looked to the Western side and here are all the young girls in bikinis, then he looked over to his side at a load of middle aged woman covered from head to foot!
After a fish dinner (blue marlin caught that day- mmmm) there's a lovely cliff top path that we walked along and here's a few shots along the way.


We had two nights here, we could have easily had more but we had some other fantastic places to visit. For the full 'cooling off' experience we were heading for the cool climate mountains and as we are writing this retrospectively (oooooh!), I can tell you them thar mountains were spectacular. Next stop Periyar and then Munnar, said to be the most popular tourist destination in South India. For a free scone, what's the major crop that's produced at Munnar and exported all over the world (not so much in America though!) . So the next blog's coming from somewhere seriously above sea level - unlike this little paradise!

Cups of tea shenanigans: Elvis' sari is 5 metres long. Outsourcer, a cup of tea to you - spot on girl. Now FIL (Dad Elves) you're getting a cuppa too as when the sari was originally bought it was 6m long and a metre was cropped off the end to make the 'blouse' so you're technically right too!

Our Paula - you've won a scone!!! FIL (Father-in-law) asked how many cakes has Elvis consumed - you said 200, which I reckon is about right, although Elvis sheepishly muttered... 'more like 400' !!

FREE CUPS OF TEA FOR ONE AND ALL!!

Well I bet you 'winners' out there were wondering how you were going to get those well-earned cups of tea? Well fear not and read on....

Bloggers, put Saturday, 28th June in your diaries. From 2pm onwards you are all kindly invited to attend a "Claim your free cup of tea" get-together at our house!! (This invitation also applies to all our 'foreign' bloggers although you will have to provide your own transportation!)

Now winners dinnit be getting your knickers in a knot when we have to offer all our bloggers a cup of ya finest, remember YOU are WINNERS, the rest are not. If you play your cards right there could be a scone in it for you too!

We'd LOVE to see you all for a catch up so feel free to call in for as little or as long as you want. (Sissy J is over from America Didge and hoping for some lessons in Mackem!) Don't worry we won't be offering to show you our holiday snaps (we are taking advance weekend bookings for that, bed and breakfast provided at a reduced cost - only kidding!)

Hopefully we'll have a good catch up with you all on the 28th. Address details, phone number and directions etc will be 'blogged' later! SO ..... SEE YOU ALL THERE!!

Rajasthan - Last stop!

This is Elvis and I having a 'splurge'! We had one night staying at Fort Rajwada, Jaisalmer. It's a modern place built to an ancient Indian design. As only fools like us holiday in such heat the hotel was just about empty (hence the 'splurge' as it was cheap!) and we had the place to ourselves.



This is Jaisalmer Fort, a warren of narrow streets carved from sandstone harbouring a palace, temples and many simples havelis (traditional residences often very ornate). The fort was built in 1156 and stands proud on Trikuta Hill. 25% of the old city's population live within the fort walls and it's an extraordinary place to wander round.

Unfortunately ('Environmental hat' on here - the fort is sinking into the hill due to the pressure on the drainage system from increased tourism and its now one of the world's most endangered monuments, shame eh!)
These ladies carry all sorts of things on their heads, the strangest one we've seen is a woman with a full bag of cement on her head!




Me preparing myself for a welcome dip, eeee it was like having your own pool (look carefully, I am there at the far end!)











Another view of the magnificent fort.

Now who is this little Indian beauty I hear you all say! Don't worry she hasn't 'turned' Hindu and been sold to the Maharaja as 'another' wife! She's still mine! This is Elvis sporting her new sari, she got lots of compliments from the locals. It might not be worn on a Friday night in Sun'lun town centre but I'm sure if any of you girls would like to see it, she wouldn't take too much persuading! For a free cup of tea - if you unfurled Elvis's Sari (ooerrr) how long would it be? The nearest guess wins the tea!

This is Tilon-ki-Pol, leading to Gadi Sagar. A good little story about this - it's said to have been built by a prostitute. The maharajah refused her permission on the grounds that he would have to pass under it to get to the lake and he felt this was beneath his dignity. Whilst the king was away she built the gate anyway and added a Krishna temple on the top so he couldn't tear it down, clever eh!

A full length view of the very gorgeous Indian/British girl!

This is the entrance to our hotel. The lovely guy at the gate saluted every time we went past him. Gee, we felt like royalty!

As we left the next day, we were 'treated' to a full sandstorm (from the safety of the car) as you can see the visibility drops dramatically and it looks like a very hostile place.

I wanted to get a picture of a REALLY full truck, but this was the best I could get. Some of the trucks are so overloaded that the wagon looks tiny in the middle. We've seen a few lying overturned on the side of the road a few times to!

Now this scene is commonplace in India. Cows are sacred over here and boy do they know it. There is ALWAYS at least one wandering down the road with the traffic just weaving it's way around it. One morning there was one just sitting in the middle of the road during rush hour traffic, a bit like a cow making it's self comfortable in the middle of Durham Road at 8.30am on a workday!


This is the sun setting over the red fort at Bikaner - last stop before Delhi.

This is our driver Subhash. A man of few words many which were mumbled as he 'chewed' his tobacco. He was a very creative driver. If he had just 'loaded' his gob with baccy, any communication was made by grunts and eyebrow raising that we eventually learned the meaning. Once an unfortunate petrol pump attendant didn't get his drift, so a jet of brown liquid was aimed at his feet - lesson learnt!

Back in Delhi and straight into action! This is me at yet another cooking class! This time I'm learning how to conjure up delights from Northern India - play your cards right and some of you may be able to test my skills!

Cup of tea carry on: Great timing June, first time answering questions and first time a winner - with time running out you've bagged yourself a free cuppa, you must be truly delighted (he he)! Camels are the reason the trees look so straight along the bottom, well done the rest of you with your guesses, although those who didn't win are no doubt going to accuse me of not wording the question right - tough we're the boss and June knew what we meant!!!

After all of this it was off on another flight! But in the words of 'The Credence' - 'Bother me tomorrow, today I'll bag no sorrow' - Next report from Kerala - that's South India to you land lubbers!

Rajasthan's Desert

Jaisalmer - and this is the second largest desert in the world 'The Great Thar Desert'! Could you imagine how hot it is here?



So - riding camels, do you reckon it's easy then? Well we nearly came a cropper a few times, first of all when you get on they are right down on their bellies, then when they get up they don't hang about, back legs first then the front legs. It's like being on one of those 'bucking bronco' things! Also the saddle isn't the most comfortable thing I've sat on either - it was like having your cheeks stretched in opposite directions for a few hours (for those of you with a dark sense of humour - please refrain from commenting regarding the cheek stretching!!!) But it's all worth it because the scenery is amazing.
This is approaching sunset.

All the trees in the desert grow like his with really straight lines at the bottom. For a free cup - can anyone hazard a guess as to why?




This is Elvis waiting for the sun to set. I was busy fulfilling a childhood dream - rolling about in tons of sand!



These are the beautiful dunes that stretch for miles as far as the eye can see - in fact, just behind those trees is the Pakistan border, pity we didn't have time to pop over and give all of our loved ones a heart attack!!

A traditional Indian dance - the lighting wasn't that great - one git big halogen lamp!


Sunrise in the desert. This is where we slept, it's the only way to keep cool. You have to wear thick socks to keep the snakes off your feet. This is about 5:45am, I'm up taking pictures and Elvis is just coming out of her coma!


Our trusty steed ready for action.

If you look carefully in this picture you can just make out the sun through the thick sandy atmosphere. This is the remains of a gerte (quick translation for the foreigners - goat!) that came a cropper in the desert!



Thank the Lord I didn't have to sit on the camel going back - we rode a camel cart instead. They must know the Western person's bot can only take a few hours in a saddle (the camel was probably quite chuffed as well).




















And this is as far West as we can go in Rajasthan (Pakistan is just a few kilom's away) so now we're heading back to Delhi, then a new Indian destination- but there's one more stop en-route.

Cup of tea answers, but first of all, we were laughing our heads off at all your comments, you're all getting really quite good at this! Ann (Mam Elves) Well Done! It is indeed the Royal Enfield motorbike that's still made here in India. For a quick translation to my Brother's (Un Big One) comment - a 'wogger' is a wash house, where I kept my Yamaha 250 for years, cousin Steven then took it to restore and it kind of didn't quite get done! Didge - you got it right too (Royal Enfield), but you have to be first to win the tea!

Things you see and do in Rajasthan!

It's so hot here I can hardly type for the sweat running down my fingers. But it looks like we're getting even less sympathy than before - I don't know you English won't stop talking about the weather (Ha!) Rusty - topsoil is over rated and Pol, if you were here, the heat would have you doing your trick when you talk to imaginary people!!



This is one of the most famous spice shops in all of 'Hindia', even that Llewelyn-Bowen chap has been here. I've bought a nice little selection of curry powders and potions to try out on you all - soon!





This is an Indian family on the way to the temple, look how colourful they are? Suzanne continues to get curious looks from the locals, we can't work out why but we think it may be hair colour! It could also be wearing a bikini in the temple (no - only kidding!). The other reason could be that there's not too many Westerners here because it's too hot (did I mention that?)



This one's for Didge, this is the 'corporation' bin men - or girls in this case. Clock the state-of-the-art equipment! None of your - 'we're not picking up the wheelie bin cos it's not facing the right direction' from these girls. They asked (begged really) for some money from our Indian driver for a cup of tea - his response; a mouthful of 'chewing tobacco' spit directed at their feet. He's like Clint Eastwood in the film 'The Outlaw Josey Wales'. The girls seemed to accept that as 'NO'. You should see him when he tries to talk with a gob full - hilarious!!

This is the type of car we're touring the South in, they're an old design car but made brand new! We love it, it's called an Ambassador and Elvis and I are settling right into the 'Ambassador' role - waving to the locals as we pass through the towns. You have to have the window down all the time though cos this model has no air con. - did I mention how hot it is here?

Speaking of old vehicles made new - for a free cup of tea, tell us the name of the classical old English motorbike that's not made in England anymore, but you can still purchase a brand new one here!

Jenny Schmenny - more tea for you girl, Immolation is the word for setting yersel a'had. Although I think Rusty has a point with 'Idiocy' too.

Rusty and Paula - you may not want to read the next blog, it's in the desert, there's no top soil but plenty of sand, there's no mist but there's sandstorms that turn day to night and yes, you've guessed it - it's the hottest place on H'earth (not as hot as Sunderland in August like!) That's in the next blog - coming soon to a screen near you.

How much further can you go in Rajasthan?

We're moving further towards the desert and it's getting even hotter 48 -50c - but as my calls for sympathy dramatically failed in the last blog, I think we'll suffer in silence in this blog!

Welcome to the next stop in the 'extended' Golden Triangle route through Rajasthan, welcome to Jodhpur, famous in England for introducing a certain garment worn by the elite whilst pursuing the game of polo - Jodhpurs of course also known here as 'the baggy pant brigade'! Most of our trip we visit the sights and then chill out, so here are the main attractions.... another beautiful Jain Temple.
Another beautiful palace, Umaid Bhawan Palace. What's really special about this palace is that it was designed by the British! This immense pink and white sandstone monster was started 1929, took 3,000 workers 15 years to complete (like Sunderland's metro link!) Also, this is the last palace to be built in India.
This is how it looks from the front gate, which is firmly locked to keep the plebs away from the 5 star hotel patrons!

This is the 'sprawl' of Jodhpur - this is the 'polarised' image of India, up on the mountain is a massive palace, then in the city it's nearly all tiny little concrete and lean to shacks. This is the view from the memorial.



This is the glorious Meherangarh Fort, built in 1806, it follows the lines of the hills so well it looks like it has been raised out of the ground. Here's a horrible story for you, inside the main gate there are original hand prints on the wall from the Maharaja widows. They made the prints shortly before hoying themselves on the Maharaja's funeral fire as an act of ultimate devotion to their dead husband, the king. Apparently they sat silently in the flames! A cup of tea if you can tell us what this act is called, your clue is a single word beginning with the letter 'I'?

This is a special part of the fort for the ladies. It keeps the ladies from view while they spy on the goings on below, it's called 'purdah'. In England it's called 'being a peeping Tom' and let me tell you you can go to prison for it!




This is opposite to the picture above - this time from the fort looking back at the memorial. It's called the 'Tomb with a View'!
White marble is a common building material in India and they have some of the best you can get.

What a beautiful little 'palais de-deutche' as Oliver Reed would say. This is one of the special rooms used by the Maharaja to impress his visitors, we were canny impressed like! Again there was some fancy lattice work around this room which unbeknown to visitors the maharina's were crouching behind, again 'cocking' their lugs on the court's goings on and reporting back! (Just in case you think the sun has caused some form of 'growth' - we both have headphones on as we were doing the audiotour!)

Cup of tea answers - As we thought the Outsourcer just couldn't keep from the Google, could you? Be honest Madam cos I know you're too competitive to just take a wild guess - or are we to believe that your first 'wild' guess out of the huge selection of Bond films (over 20 we think) you just happened to pick the correct one! Humm - I'm very suspicious! So... we're giving the benefit of the doubt to our nephew, Lord Farquar for guessing Octopussy.

Rusty - Cup of tea for the name of the wheel - legitimate use of Google on that one!

Even Further into Rajasthan!

27th May - current status - we're now in Kerala, South India back on the coast!

These photos were taken in Udaipur which is known as the Venice of the West. It's a seductive little number with Lake Pichola as its centrepiece and surrounded by the beautiful Aravilli hills.

Have mercy on us poor explorers - temperatures are now reaching 45 degrees on a daily basis.


This is a view from Jagminda island looking back to the mainland. Used to be a palace but now a fancy pants retaurant.


A sneaky little picture I took of someone sitting relaxing, enjoying the view.

Sunset over the lake. Sunsets can be quite odd here, there's so much pollution in the air that just when you think the sun is going to hit the horizon and colour the sky - it totally disappears!



Elvis and I sitting in the city palace enjoying - well you're not going to believe this - A FREE CUP OF TEA!! Patrons that pay for the museum get a free beverage and there's only one beverage as far as us English are concerned.

Speaking of tea, for a free cup of tea with a difference, this time it's a guessing game. So without using google (now be honest - especially the Outsourcer and Rusty!) have one guess each at which 'James Bond' film used this location below, the Lake Palace? If you're all wrong, then you can have another guess in the next blog. Now don't guess 'The Spy That Shagged Me' because that's not a James Bond film!!

This is the Lake Palace with the lights on. We were sitting in the city palce having a cup of tea watching the most fantastic sunset.


Now then - what do you reckon is going on here? I remember when I was about 6 years old in school drawing pictures of how the Egyptians used to irrigate fields, I never thought I would actually witness one in use. A free cup of tea if you can tell me the name of this device. I can't contemplate what it must be like to do that job for hours on end! Even computer programming is more interesting than that!



This photo is taken in a famous Jain temple in Ranakpur. It's carved using white marble and has 1444 pillars with no two alike! There's the bell that the bloke in the previous blog hid down the front of his smock!

Happy Birthday to Jayne and hello to Un Big One and Dave checking the blog from Spain - eeh it's amazing isn't it technology! Hope you're all enjoying the Spanish coast.